~thelightofmyiman~

In the name of Allah,most gracious, most merciful.

Ok, i am supposed to finish up my self reflection kind of thing from my trip to Jakarta, Bandung and Langkawi during the holidays before i proceed with  the next post. But, never mind..huhu. tak de mase.

Semester  4 had started. results..I dont wanna mention it here as its not my main purpose of writing right now,but we have to always be grateful for everything.theres always a blessing in disguise. Its the efforts that counts, well i’ve done my best last time. Next time, I will use my full energy, kudrat..ect..for the exams..and hopefully, the results would be the best 4 me,no matter how good or bad it is.

Nways, I just went throught my first university interview. It was Manchesters medical interview. 3 panels, 3 section of interrogation. haha..It was quite tough as the panel kept on provoking you. The questions:

PART 1

1. Why medicine?? …my ans= I actually told them the story of how i was inspired to become a doctor. long story….
2. Tell me about the volunteer works that u had participated?
3. what had u learned from being with the orphans?( bcos I told them I had once worked as a volunteer in an orphanage home)

PART 2

1. What do u do to release yourself from tension?
2. What would you do if someone told you they hated you?
3. If there was an amount of money that you can use to cure your patients and there was also a nursery that needed funding, and they said that the money should be spend on the nursery as the kids is much more important than your old patients, and argued with you, what would you do?

PART 3(The debate and argue session)

1. Its about the ethical issue in medicine. The situation(lebih kurg ayt die cmni..)= If u had a patient with lung cancer because of  his bad habit of heavy smoking,would you still treat him,(as in buat lung transplant) even thought he still insite to continue smoking?
2. And from my answers,they created many other question like: What if the donor of the lung was ur best friend, would you still continue the transplant to the pesakit degil who insist to continue smoking even after he recieves a new lung??

And any other question that i quite dont remember. Anyway, if u r among the first to be interviewed, get ready to be interrogated by ur friends later. Penat menjwb org tanye..”soalan ape die tanye..”haha..:)

Nevertheless, I have done my best in the interview,and its all up to Allah now to plan the best 4 my university placement.:)

bismillahhirrahmannirrahim..in the name of god, the most gracious the most merciful. Alhamdulillah. Finally, semester 3 is over!! its really a relief!!but just thinking about getting through the final sem makes the body drained with adrenaline!!fuh..!!

just got home yesterday evening, almost everyone was already out of KMB, only a few was left including me(its kinda weird bcos yesterday most of the student who stayed was the ppl yg duduk dekat..huhu..)  Abah had to pick me up after office hour, so he ended up arriving just after maghrib, so before that i had the chance to chat with a junior. She lives in KL, shes also from a daily school when she was in form 4 and 5.. she was also waiting for her father to come pick her up so, we had a talk. We talked about ‘life in KMB’. As a senior obviously, i was the one who was doing the interrogation..(dialog di bwh bukan dialog sebenar, ttp the isi is there..hehe.)

“So, dah satu sem kat sini apa komen…?”

“Rase best sgt kat KMB ni, rase die sgt lain..keadaan kat sini sgt islamic, sebelum ni tak pernah pun dapat tau pasal benda2 islam ni..”(ayat die lebih kurg cam2 lah.”sebelum ni saya keluar tak pakai tudung, tapi bila saya dah pakai tudung kawan2 saya semua terkejut..”

As the one who was asking the question..i kinda understood what she meant and what she was going through.  As i was once like her. It made me think back on the things i was, and what i had found..to made me what and who i am today.

Living in a middle of a city, learning in a school where a lot of bad things is considered usual ( im not ‘kutuk’ing my school,but its the reality of the students there.) I didnt know @found the real beauty of islam.Alhamdulillah, my parent understood islam (they had their own usrah jugak mase kat US dulu), so they had nurtured their children as best as they can, making us cover our aurat starting from puberty, making sure that we didnt tinggalkan sembahyang, pergaulan..ect. all the basic things of being a muslim. So, i think back then i was obeying but i didnt understand.

So, being in a society which do not understands and didnt practice it, it didnt make things better. Although i know what are the things that can and cant be done but it didnt came from my understanding and penghayatan , its more to kebiasaan. I remembered back then there was a friend who called me ‘malaikat’as they said i was sgt baik. Thinking back now, my sgt baik mase tu is org yg tak tahu ape2, does not know why she is created in this world..and every time i went back home and go out to see and mix with the society, i start to understood why she said that. The society is rotting, and it made me sad that these ppl does not know the beauty of the truth.

My jiran sebelah bilik in college allways said to me everytime we encoutered this masalah2 social..”kalau derang tau kan iman, mesti derang nak kan..”as it is really a BEAUTIFUL thing and i hope insya Allah i can share it to the society.

So, the conclusion, being in KMB for almost 1 and a halfyear had really taught me a lot, and what i have right now, i hope i can beristiqamah with it.

If someone asked me what do i fell being and living in KMB??

“Alhamdulillah, i am really grateful about it.”

Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

A question that always revolves in my mind..

Why ppl often wait till they are old to repent and seek for forgiveness and blessing frm Allah..??

So, today, I went out to bukak pose with my long lost friends(maryam,atikah,fatema)..well, not exactly long lost but more to long time no see..at first, we thought on just to bukak pose at our beloved masjid negeri jer..as we could get plenty of food for free plus it will not be too hectic for us to perform the maghrib prayer. But bcos of some circumstances, we finally opt for sexy mall.(SACC…SAC,C).went there around 5, but the restaurant there was soo expensive. I would rather fast than eat. So, we finally settle down at Alam sentral rather than sexy mall( I don’t like berbuke kat luar actually..)..even though we have to walk a bit..anywayz..there was soo many ppl there..dont know what had happened to shah alam..itsgetting hectic by day..i don’t like that..get out of my shah alam..!!!Ppl are everywhere at the mall..

ESPECIALLY youngsters.

Yelah berbuka dengan awek..bilelagi..

Shopping..

Eating…

Doing nothing or something that I think is not to important to me..

7.35pm: Went to masjid negri nak smayang maghrib

7.50pm: arrived,perform maghrib prayer(dah agak dah mesti kelam kabut..)

8.30pm: start isyak prayer n terawih..

Tonight was a special night. Well actually every mlm sabtu, masjid negeri would invite a guest imam from akademi al-quran to lead the prayer for that night. So basically, that night mmg best sbb die bace mmg sedap..not to mention last night(mlm jumaat) sgt best…sape yg pegi taulah..doa mase qunut die sgt mengharukan..

Anyways..back to my point, every time I go and pray at the mosque, every single time I look beside me, it will ALWAYS be an OLD LADY.aka sebaye my nenek..and I could say, most of the ppl there would be the older ppl..with their tongkat, and chairs passionately chasing for the great rewards offered to humans during Ramadhan. I bet if we ask the nenek2 and atuk2 there they would probably say that if they were still young they would definitely doo more than what they can do right now.. its really a sad scenery to see that not many youngsters at the mosque…they prefer malls than mosque..WHY??

I once ask a friend..

For her opinion upon what she was doing..

Her justification on her wrong doings..

“alah,nanti dah tue bertaubatlah..sekarang ni enjoylah dulu..”

“nanti-nantilah..”

And a lot more other excuses..

What if “tua” never comes..?

who knows maybe we would not be lucky enough to be living tomorrow..

“Dan kehidupan dunia ini hanya senda gurau dan permainan. Dan sesungguhnya negeri akhirat itulah kehidupan yang sebenarnya, sekiranya mereka mengetahui”

(30:64)

If only the youngsters knew this…

When I wrote this.the server is actually down..dont know why..to see it in a different view, I think my prayers have been answered today..:).[I prayed that I could do my assignments and to maximized my time in Ramadhan and my main enemy is the net..well now I don’t have the net..Alhamdulillah..:) ]

ppl often forget the fact that we are leaving behind sumthing really valuable and meaningful that only comes along once a year..

RAMADHAN..

for something that only last for only a few days..

RAYA..

why??

Even though Ramadhan is still not over yet, the final 10 days are left for us to find the malam lailatul qadr, but most ppl are already fussing about raya.Before this i always felt sad on the fact that every time raya, abah always reluctant to bring us beraya to other ppl houses..(sumthing i luv  to do) but now when i think back, what is it that is so special about raya that every body is celebrating it extravagantly?? Yes, i know that we are celebrating our victory because we have already fast for a month..but from wut i see some ppl are celebrating it much more berlebih2 than other ppl should..

org yang berpuase punuh should be more happier than those who dont, but are they??..

org yang menghidupkan ramadhan should be the one who celebrates RAYA, as they know the true meaning of victory..but are they??..

the world today, Malaysians particularly perceive raya more like a traditional celebration than a religion matter..

if you ask ppl..or u can just see for yourself from your observation..

RAYA=

sales in shopping complexes..

new fashion for baju kurung..

new receipe kuih raya..

blockbuster movies..

lagu raya..

open houses(a.k.a. pesta makan..)thus, they will be pembaziran..

konsert raya..(this one i seriously dont understand..penat je mintak ampun mase ramadhan..x sampai sebulan pon..)

We have to go back to the real meaning of raya..look back on how Rasulullah and the sahabat celebrated Raya..how different and how meaningful their celebration is..Aidilfitri should be the muslims symbol of victory after one month continuously fasting and beribadat meghidupkan one month in Ramadhan, so should we be celebrating like we celebrate today..??

a question to ponder upon..

Basically, i will write at least a post  for every cuti, so here goes..
Challenges. That is what my math teacher always said to us when we faced any difficulties in Math. It is not difficult but it is challenging. Basically, for me, that statement is not only applicable for math,but also for the whole IB program in KMB. Ever since i enrolled in this Ib program..I have learned many things..some bad ones..but MANY good ones..the things that makes me think more wisely..

Case 1:
There is this one week,we have to send in our World Literature , pop!suddenly my computer broke down..VIRUS..n guess wut,i havent even printed out my World LIT yet, n my really luvly n wonderful parents came down just to help solve my problems..yet, even though the computer was saved by the modern advance technology, yet my 700 world WORLD LIT essay, was corrupeted. Imagine how i felt that time, when everybody should be handing in their world lit 2 morrow..so, i retype mine in one night..and Alhamdulillah..the second one was better. n that was a challenge!!seriously..

Case 2:
This one is my EE story..and this one really test my limits..n REALLY test my trust to Allah. Imagine your whole EE work (EE is like ur mini research,4 those who dont know..)since cuti semester..suddenly ruined??well that is what happened to me(itsa long story actually)..i cried, i prayed, and i cried a lot basically..and yet GOD still loves me and help me till today..:)and i think that i know, i have done my best in the previous research Q, meeting ppl,callig ppl, but its just not meant to be..GOD knows best.just TRUST.

Case 3: I cant remember..byk sgt…(seriously)

well, what i wanna say is that life had thought me a lot,.n still will in the future.Life is filled with challenges 4 us to encounter.From every difficulties, lies opportunity to learn. I have, and i will try to..Ever since i was in form 4,i felt a really great challenge to beat those students in boarding school, as i really felt there is some sort of unfairness that i have to bear upon..like i was oppressed or sumthing, without realizing that it is actually an opportunity 4 me to be where i am right now,to have wut i have..n right now..alhamdulillah..i can see what it means by’

“(maka bersabarlah) karena mungkin kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal Allah menjadikan padanya kebaikan yang banyak.”(QS.4:19).

so..do ur best..n TRUST ALLAH(also a reminder 4 me!!dont procrastinate!!!)

tujuhenam..tejunam..that is whut i always tell ppl if they ask me when is my bday date..wahaha..ataupun same dgn bday agong, slalu cam2..nak bli kek pon kedai tutup..:( hampeh btol..anyway, that morning as usually(yeah right..), i woke up early..from a late night stay up..nak tunggu org wish..hehe. Papepun, the night b4 my family and i went out to celebrate..kind of.Pegi makan kat asiari(bad choice..) iaitu satu kedai asian fusion yg agak high class 4 our family as 4 us our usual dinner outing would be at just an ordinary restaurant or mamak stall.ngehehe..apeapepon..thanx mak.abah…

n then the next day which is my bday..i was actually planning to spend it with my long lost frenz…hehe,but derang cam sibok je..amalnakprikse,,chaiyok!!!go to Jpn.so i can visit u..wahaha.so,i ended up stayin at hope with my family doing house chores,cleaning the livin room..pinggan sume..rearranging the furniture cleaning the shelves..ect sbb baru renovate umah..so, kne tolong mak.. ok, bukan kene tapi satu kewajipan..:)  It was quite sad actually..sbb teringat kalo kat college mesti ade kengkawan nak celebrate as i never actually celebrated my bday with my frens, sbb everytime 7 jun je mesti cuti!!!

So, disebbkan mak mcm tau i sad quite sad that day, they had bought me a suprise gift..which is a teddy bear yg sgt comel!!!i luv that teddy..haha, but i feel quite bad sbb mcm susahkan mak je, mcm budak2 je..hmm..i need to grow up a little i guess..be more matured. Nthen that night i just felt like going shopping, (nak bli kast sbnarnye sbb kasut da rosak..) so bwkle nani n aman pg bli brg nani nak balik asrama skali..:) n the rest of the night i just spent on relaxing..taknak wat assignment smalam..heh.

tgk switz lwn checz scare tak sengaje mase ak ajr nani add math..tetibe tersemangat..wahaha.tensionku melihat switz main!!!kalah jugak akhirnye..sian org switz..dah la 1st game.haih.Hmm.habis pon satu hari..:) just now i met Izatty Deanna, my long lost fren mase dulu,da la duduk btol2 depan umah, tp dah satu thn tak jumpe, so td jumpe borakle kat pagar jap..:), nway i knowi have to stop writing,.esk nak jumpe anisa n others..yay!!tak sabar rasenye..:) have to go to sleep..econs essay sikit je lagi!!chaiyok!!

ok,im supposed to do my work right now, but then sejak 2, 3 hari ni i just feel like blogging..hihi..so here i am sitting in my room, just typing, thinking bout the whole load of works need to be done but of course is still undone(namepon need to be done..heh).

Ok enough the craps..i just realised its been such a long time already since i post an entry, so here goes..i’ll just reminisce about the exams first, exams…hmm..just pray for the best right now, bcos i know i have done my best, xcept math kot,(math is drivin me crazy, from now on, i promise i will do math every day!!!!), i kept telling to myself Allah knows whuts best 4 me, but then as a human being i cant run from feeling like this!!!Ya Allah, plz help me..its the placements im worried bout..but then, boleh jadi apa yang kita suka tak baik untuk kite, but bende yg kite tak suke lebih baik utk kite..(yeah ive been through that already..)be strong iman!!chaiyok2!!

n then just right after exam, i went for a camp. The camp is called Bond Of Ukhuwwah. it is actually organized by the GNCC club..(cube teka GNCC tu ape..hehe..) and it is in Shah Alam,my beloved hometown..the camp was great, learn loads of stuff, meet new friends, build stronger r/ships, so basicly the objektifs yg telah dibentangkan oleh saudare president mase awl2 camp tu bleh lah dikatekan 90% tercapai,(yg lg 10% tak tau ape,tp x leh bg 100 % sbb 2 perfect sgt..), Anyways, a lot of good n bad memories yg tercipta..but the most unforgettable one,that i must surely write, so that i will not forget..is…mase arifah jatuh!!!horror!!at that time sakinah is riding hapily infront of me, laju je jln,mentang2 turun bukitkan..sorang lagi tak ingat ah sape, but we are the three infront la..nthen tetibe dgrIqa jerit sumthing..tpingatkan sbb diegembira nak sampaidah,kamipon dgn bersungguh2,berkayuh with the thought that were getting to the end!!!chaiyok!!siap parking beskal lg tu..pastu tunggu punye tunggu,mane derang ni,so, itold sakinah i heard sumone scream just now..ape lgi kitorang naik blek beskal kayuh naik bukit baik..(haduh…) skali nampak ramai2 beskal beterabur or parking tgh jln, tp orgnye takde, ape lgi,kitorg pon park lah, penat nak kayuh naik..lari…nmpk ramai2ats jln pastu ade org terbaring..YA ALLAH..panic btol mase tu, nsb baik terselamat, alhamdulillah..but it was an unforgettable memory..seriously.., but the camp was fun keseluruhannya, ..im in the making of editing the pics and making a video(that i shouldnt supposed to do, with the loads of work..Iman,iman..).

disbbkan dah pnjg dah post ni(n i HAVE to do my work..).nnti jelah sambung..the post tittle is awakening bcos im awake right now!!hehe..no, bcos i think my pemikiran has really changed in between the gap between the last post and this new recent post, i could say that KMB has really changed me:) ,so to AL and NAb, lame tak jumpe yer..satu thn dah…hehe..

cant believe that the holidays is almost over..2007 is almost over!!and im gettin older..hehe:P.thinkin back on the first day of 2007,,mase tu ,total heaven..holidays for months..tak wat papepon,tgk tv n jln2,adela keje sikit2.n then the moment of truth finally reveals when the spm result was being announce!!memories…and to cut the story short tetibe dah masuk KMB,life is really fast..:)

ok,during the holidays,i would not say that i didnt do much,but i think i fail to spend more time with my frenz.sedih giler..we were frenz dah lame dah kan..alina..amal..anisa..nab..weh, korang,jumpe pon tidak cuti ni..:(.evrytime u guys plan to meet up ,i ALWAYS have another thing going on.menyebbkan the last time we meet up is like b4 masuk kmb..sedihnyer~~n then cuti ni pon,when i was in terengganu..WAAA~~~nab just send me the pic je..:(

alina n nab paling lame tak jumpe korang..al,sorry if i didnt reply ur msgs or anything..gomen2.i know ur hati bukan mcm hati jelly..hehe,lembik semacam..:P.Nab,i miss hearing ur stories n gossips..(ish3..).Amal,miss u too Amal..and Anisa..my companion:),sometimes when i reminisence back mase skolah dulu rase nak nangis tau..i really do miss u guys.amal,i knew u since darjah brape pon tak ingat,n all the rides,n tumpang at ur house..thanx amal..n mase PMR..Llama yg tinggal di Andes..hehe..ur the one who introduced me to Al,at SKRM.mase nak amek result UPSR.atas pentas,main chi ku pang kot..cant really remember..n then sampailah ke form1,2,3,and 5.sayang je f4 tak same klas..hehe.all the games,pranks,mostly games when we were in f1.and pranks on ME!(poor me)heh,i seriously cant remember anything from kelas2 science mase f1,asyik main kat blakang lab je.,gelak je keje.hehe,mase kite same2 jd prefect,rehat sesame..tak jage pon,borak je lebih..letak jawatan sesame..hehe:P.All the stupid games we have invented just to entertain ourselves.sape cakap on the way to clas dr surau kene bayar seposen..hehe.Al,(if u r reading..)remember the atlantis code we use to cammunicate with each other.yg last2 kite bwat soalan ujian atlantis language code..(byk giler mase kite dulu..hehe),n remember abg pelik n abg marah??form 2??hehe.How i really miss those times,how i miss u guys..:).Luv u gurlz..still cant believe tak jumpe korg cuti nih…haih..

Thankfully,i managed to meet up with Tema,Atikah,Akish n Mayam!!miss u guys too~~i really enjoyed my time with u guys..:)

Most of the time during the holidays..(mayb nat mostlah..a lot of my time..)bwat ape lgi..CAS lah..(even though mmg comfirm tak abes punye)starting with the camp jati diri remaja at the tasik,all the planning,games,certs..siriously penat.n then the akuaria thing with the orphanage,hectic but fun:).thanx to all those who contribute to this prog.just after that,my dad had a conference in tganu for 4 days which brings to a kinda family holiday too..it was a blast!!rase mcm time2 habis spm dulu..hehe,plus mase tu angah balik for the holiday.ill just put some pic here..mostly amannye gambar,bcos byk amek gamba gune angah nye camera..aman suroh org tanam die,plus he teach me how to swim..(yeah,i dunt know how to swim..)pastu all the way mase kat ganu n balik tu,abah bawk kete mcm nak drift tau..mentang2 baru tgk tokyo drift..hehe..

And now..its only one week to go b4 ill be back in KMB,n face the ultimate truth of the IB world for the first time..(wahaha~~).resultz!!i hope Allah plan the best for me..Ameen..n i havent even finish reading not even a single bm novel lagi yg pn hasni bgi..haih..n the english movie,my fair lady,sering diganggu oleh keinginan utk tgk cite korea..:P(im watchin my gurl right now.Gong Chan kawaii~~hehe..)and life still goes on..:)

ok,the story started with me and my fren going to a mall.i was supposed to buy a pair of shoes for my sister that day, and actually thats the main objective why i went to that particular mall in the first place,but i forgot to bring the paper with the voucer so i didnt bought the shoes in the end..anyways,on the way back my fren decided to have her lunch at dunkin doughnuts after long consideration..so we went to dunkin doughnuts.when we arrive, we were greeted by so many staffs there as there is not much customer there.. actually we were the only customer at that time, because there were so many staffs behind the counter,everybody was trying to attend us,we ended up with this guy and a girl asking us what we wanted for lunch and trying their best to satisfy uslah..so,this guy kept calling my fren fren ‘kak’ at that time..the thing is, my fren didnt like ppl callin her ‘kak’ as she is actually much more younger than most ppl would think,so, she told the guy to call her adik instead of kak,but unfortunately the guy and the girl still acknowledge my fren as kak instead of dik..so, kitorang bwat tak taujelah.,.but this guy..hes kinda hiperactive kept asking us questions,ok,takpelah..n then we sat at a table and my fren ate her lunch.While waiting for my fren to finish her lunch, i kept on wathing and analizing the situation at the restaurant. I noticed that there were too many workers in the small shop,too many ppl to do one simple job,i even noticed a worker, he was trying to be busy, as there is nothing much to do behind the crowded counter. everybody else seems dont want to leave their places takut2 org lain amek kerje derang..so, this guy ended up terkapai2. Another thing i noticed was the way they adress each other in the restaurant. they were quite harsh,and they dont know  how to use the right panggilan to greet ppl.they called an old lady..seriously old ‘miss’ when they greeted her…ok,maybe they wanted to compliment her or something..but still..so, i spilled out my thoughts to my fren who were still eating at that time..she told me to write a complain letter,or it was me that wanted to write a complain letter,..tahler..anyways,i decided to write one.so i was searching for a pen to use at that time to write that letter,and kebetulan..that hyper guy awal2 tu passed by..so, i asked him ..do you have a pen..die pon ckplah..owh ade japye..aleh2,dpt tisu dgn phone no die n ofcos with the pen,mase tu nak tegelak pon ade..wrong communication.hehe,pastu kitorang  pon bantai tulis mcm2, actually i was the one who wrote all those stuff.hehe.apastu,nak dipendekkan cerita we went abck home..tp my fren tak amek pon tissue yg diberikan tu n tak pandang pon ..and on the way back,she felt guilty for what we had done..should we??hmm..thats the storylah..hehekembali ke sekolah~~~!!

its been a very long time since i last post a blog entry..so,b4 i go back ‘home’ to KMB..why not..ok,life so far in KMB..best because we have CAS..n haritu kitorang accident..n then we caused a really long ‘kesesakan lalu lintas’,teruje sebentar di situ..best pergi rumah aman,tp sblm ni pon best,n then learning..hmm….hmmm…ok.New friends,new room,new books,new life,everything is new to me except for my name of course..bapak bosan post ni..

ok.HOLIDAYS..last saturday i went 2 rumah aman for the personal cas..best giler..i dont know what the other guys felt,but i sure love it,walaupun terpakse bangun pepagi masak..hmm..nthen right after the rumah aman thing,i went to the palestine high tea DPN bluewave hotel..i repeat DEPAN bluewave hotel..bukan di hotel ye..n right after that,without changing my clothes(yea…)i went straight back to kampung with PAkcik Lan..bcos nenek was having a kenduri that night for my 2 newly born cousins(i have so many baby cousins…) and ofcourse for mak cik ibah who is going to perform her haj..n then i realised,i was the eldest cousin there,bcos all of my older or yg same age cousins sume ade hal..tolong2lah..pakcik din first time bwk makanan dr disaji..hahaha..mmg haritu all about food..n then d nex monday i went out with maryam n atikah…derang je free..org lain cam takleh jer..hmmm…after berfikir pjg,we decided to watch rush hour 3….klaka giler crite tu..sakit perut,but some dirty scene..i dont know cane lah movie tu ble dpt rating U..tolonglah..klau mcm tu dah U,bayangkan 18sx!!!!!n right now..im doing my homework..nak kluar!!nak jalan2…amal,al,anisa,nab,if u guys r readin..bile korang free nih???anisa.jum ni jd tak???WAAA~~~~~